unspoken words ;

2011-11-19T20:29:00.003+08:00

输得心服口服。

2011-11-13T00:33:00.007+08:00

frankly speaking, even though we didn't even start, i kinda missed the times where we were still close, where you still cared a little, and where i still hold a place, even if it's the smallest place in your heart.

saw this particular image somewhere, and it reminded me of how you slipped your hands through mine that day.
i missed you and all the little things all these while, and sorry for the pressures i've gave you unknowingly.

but it's all memories now.
life goes on.

good while it lasted. you've made your choice, and you have my blessings. hope your decision was a right one.
from the bottom of my heart, i wish you happiness.
:)

don't have to feel 愧疚 towards me anymore.
because soon enough you won't be seeing me till i don't know when. not that soon definitely.
learn to let go.

well.. laters.

2011-10-26T19:54:00.001+08:00

why does it hurt so much.

2011-10-08T11:52:00.004+08:00

hi blogspot, been a long time. how are you?

something i realise.
as we get older, we stop jotting down our thoughts.
and.. the posts have never been happy before.
so much for the change huh?

something i've learned to live with. friends come and go.
and if you know what i mean, i've seen through another person.

been buddies for 10yrs. moving on to strangers.
when you've been taken for granted, you know what's next.

someone who always think they're right, and having the capability to twist the words so that it will sound like the other party is being unreasonable.
so that makes me the bad guy.
it doesn't matter.
i've got no qualm of conscience over what i did.

it may not be a good feeling, but someday we will all get use to it. everyone is born to live independently.

sorry blogspot, it has been hard on you.
turning to you only when i'm not in the best of mood.

2011-09-27T22:52:00.002+08:00

one fine day, i'm gonna look back at you, smiling and saying, thanks. i'm much stronger than before now, because of you.

a closure.

2011-09-18T02:43:00.003+08:00

is it really that important?

a friend once told me this. "对于一些问题，不要太过执著地想找答案。有些事情不知道答案会比较好。"
i think it's true. 1 of the important note which brought me forward, and i shall live by it.

should have known.

2011-09-13T22:22:00.001+08:00

no?

2011-08-13T21:01:00.001+08:00

congratulations zigui. you did it.
you've walked into that pithole.

once again.

2011-08-05T20:27:00.003+08:00

yup. she's ideal. but it's not for me.

2011-07-25T21:29:00.002+08:00

once you cross that line, you're over zigui.

you're threading on thin ice now.

2011-07-14T21:38:00.002+08:00

或许真的是我还不够成熟。

the perfect passer-by.

2011-07-10T01:59:00.004+08:00

nothing more than just a passer-by now, yet she is just so capable of messing up my thoughts.

2011-07-02T20:46:00.003+08:00

rational state of mind.

a moment of anguish or denial is definitely not the best way out.

2011-07-01T22:22:00.001+08:00

how hard can it get to let go of that 1%?

i mean.. it's just that one percent.. right..?

2011-06-29T01:17:00.001+08:00

what you lose, is never as simple as what it appears to be.

2011-06-27T23:20:00.008+08:00

when you're at the crossroad of life..

i've been in the comfort zone for long enough, and i gotta step out of it.
i know it myself better than anyone else, that it's going to be a rough ride.
especially for someone like me who have been sheltered since i was young.

yup. alot of people finds me childish, finds me immature.
to me it don't really matter. for i know what i'm doing better than anyone else does.
not everything has to be spelt out clearly.

i don't believe in explaining.
those who mind won't listen, those who don't mind won't need it.

gotta stop complaining..

2011-06-25T02:11:00.001+08:00

there are some things which you will never know.

2011-06-14T07:43:00.000+08:00

i seem to have forgotten who i was.

2011-06-06T01:12:00.001+08:00

been a really long while since i've blogged a proper post.

2011-06-04T04:53:00.002+08:00

to be honest, my life really isn't that bad. it's just that i couldn't handle it well enough.

it feels like another reenactment. it's a good thing though. keeps me reminded of the lessons that are ought to be learned.

nevertheless, it's great to know that you have friends, and definitely awesome colleagues who would listen to you.
it's just this handful, but its more than enough.
and.. thanks. :)

2011-05-23T23:34:00.001+08:00

i've got a mole-looking injury on my chin. :(

the rebound.

2011-05-22T01:14:00.013+08:00

when you're really low and that someone just walked out of your life, at this right moment, it tells you something.

i may have mistaken you in a way or another, or it could be the other way round, which have led to how things are today.
vexed, but with a clear conscience, i would say that i have attempted and done what i could have within my means.
if this is the kind of closure you wanted, i'm really fine with it.
should you change your mind someday in the future, i will be listening anytime, and saying hi, again.

they're right. maybe we shouldn't be too persistent towards getting certain answers in life.

you may be happy with who you are with now, and i'm always ready to give you my best wishes.

been for long enough.
this time i'm gonna let my heart die hard on you. so sick of missing you.
by saying all these, i'm getting on. i may still reminisce, but it shall remain that way. as memories.

meant no sarcasms, thanks. it was all good.

2011-05-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

at times, even me myself is disappointed with myself. not to mention those around me.

2011-05-17T23:33:00.001+08:00

it has became a habit.

2011-05-16T07:54:00.000+08:00

thanks. let this be the last.

2011-05-15T01:47:00.001+08:00

it's something which i will never forget.

fate.

2011-05-14T02:18:00.002+08:00

im not a strong believer of fate.

personally i've always believed that behind everything that took place, it's the result of things you did. the choices you've made.

simple choice it may be, there's always a butterfly effect to it.
and the aftermath of those simple choice we've made, are often treated as "fate". and if you really think about it.. you chose this path right from the start.

despite that thought, i have to admit that there are times you just gotta give in to it.

2011-05-08T22:54:00.004+08:00

you're probably enjoying your life now, and happy with whatever's going on around you.
i hate to admit it but at the end of the day, it's still..

that vague image of you.

2011-05-08T22:43:00.005+08:00

happy mother's day :D

2011-05-07T13:05:00.001+08:00

looking forward to the next cruise trip already. :p

2011-05-04T00:37:00.003+08:00

silently.. i can't believe i was actually wishing for something from you. but.. its okay. :)

2011-05-03T22:47:00.002+08:00

sometimes simplicity is all you're asking, and you dont even get it.

李玖哲 - 我会好好过

2011-05-02T21:03:00.000+08:00

2011-05-02T20:22:00.002+08:00

drove alot these few days.
got lost the most number of times in my entire life too.

hurray?

2011-05-02T01:04:00.003+08:00

new running shoes!
this shall be my motivation to keep me running.

2011-05-01T11:23:00.002+08:00

reminiscing doesn't mean that you're still hanging on.
it just mean that you're in your next phase of life.

reminiscence

2011-04-30T21:47:00.001+08:00

2011-04-30T13:27:00.002+08:00

my stomach needs to stop giving me trouble. i don't want to get stucked at home on sucha long weekend. :s

2011-04-28T20:59:00.001+08:00

there's something which i've always believed in.
karma.
and it has striked.

2011-04-28T06:59:00.002+08:00

i guess we're even now.

2011-04-23T04:32:00.000+08:00

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most

2011-04-17T12:20:00.003+08:00

2011-04-15T22:54:00.002+08:00

yes it hurts.
but i know.
it will soon be over.

2011-04-09T17:27:00.005+08:00

short it may be.

2011-04-09T12:38:00.001+08:00

send me my letter already. :s

2011-04-06T20:34:00.000+08:00

everything in the 12 days.

2011-04-06T16:48:00.003+08:00

it's just like a smudged ink.
the more you try to clean it, the dirtier it gets.

2011-04-05T22:25:00.001+08:00

a mind-reader.
that's probably all i'd need.

2011-04-05T17:47:00.002+08:00

being so close yet we're like the furthest apart.
how would you feel?

so many things you don't understand, so many whys in your head, but you know, there will never be an answer to it.

2011-04-05T15:30:00.000+08:00

for that instance, you became one of the most unfamiliar faces.

2011-04-04T23:26:00.012+08:00

my thoughts have been messed up.
i can’t really explain that kind of feeling at the moment.
i knew it, i saw it coming, but i still went ahead with it.

i don't know what was it that gave me the will to make that step.
yup. no doubt it was crystal clear.
but as far as honesty has led us, it has ended.

it's yet another short story to be etched at the back of the mind.
even though.. i was hoping for it not to be just.. as simple as a story.

2011-04-01T21:42:00.004+08:00

everyone has their right to choose.
whoever it may be.

i'm starting to feel that you're too good. for me.

2011-03-27T16:08:00.002+08:00

sorry for not being sensitive enough towards your feeling.

2011-03-25T21:47:00.002+08:00

i hate to admit it, but i think i miss you.

2011-03-25T18:09:00.002+08:00

i hope it will not be another history on replay.

but i honestly am missing you.

2011-03-24T20:29:00.002+08:00

i realise i'm starting to fear.
that i'll lose you.
though i don't even have you.

2011-03-23T00:15:00.004+08:00

you just had to turn me away with those words.

sometimes making a choice between two, could end you up having none.

2011-03-21T20:52:00.002+08:00

hundred reasons for you to be home?
how about a hundred and one reasons why not?

2011-03-20T12:43:00.000+08:00

不愿意忘记并不是任性

2011-03-14T22:03:00.002+08:00

the fear of failing which restricted our attempt.

2011-03-11T20:13:00.002+08:00

i met her few months ago.
i talked to her few days ago.
and i think she's unique.
:)

2011-03-11T00:21:00.000+08:00

stop complaining stop complaining stop complaining.

2011-03-08T08:10:00.002+08:00

how does it feel like to grow up with someone yet at the end of the day, the trust goes nothing more than just colleagues.

i don't believe in obligation.
i'm fine with it even if i don't get respected.

but when the basic trust is not even there..
conclusion?

:)

2011-03-05T21:18:00.002+08:00

maybe you're right.
it could be a blessing in disguise.

2011-03-05T02:22:00.003+08:00

也许我的出发点已经是个错误。

2011-03-01T20:35:00.000+08:00

还是走不出那阴影。

2011-02-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

2011-02-20T17:41:00.001+08:00

对不起，我做不到。

2011-02-18T19:56:00.004+08:00

the day you find your other half, is the day the special someone becomes the priority, home becomes hotel, family members becomes receptionists, good friends becomes an option and friends becomes topics.

thats just human.

2011-02-10T23:24:00.001+08:00

alot of times we wished that we could turn the time back and make things better.
will things change even if we can really go back in time?

not for me.

2011-02-10T23:23:00.003+08:00

一切就像夏天的烟火，钲放以后，就在瞬间回到平静。

就像我和你

2011-01-24T19:44:00.002+08:00

it was a worthless sacrifice.

2011-01-21T13:10:00.002+08:00

making the first step is the challenge.

2010-12-21T19:26:00.006+08:00

nobody owes anyone any explanation. not many people will agree, but i just don't like explaining.

sometimes it's just the way you think and look at things. same goes to the other party(s).
you have your own thinking, they have theirs too. and when a conflict occurs, no explanation will go through.

yup. i do have attitude problem. but that doesn't mean the problem always lies with me.
and when the words used are nothing but "you" and "your".
like, yea it's always me.

since conversing further will only lead to more uncalled argument, i'd rather remain ignorant to the rest of the message.

i bet the first thing that will go into the mind is "stop being so pretentious". so be it.

i didn't lose a friend. i've just met another passer-by.

2010-11-23T23:33:00.003+08:00

the SIM result came in.
well.. like what people always said, get admitted for sure.
but upon seeing that bundle, im super lost. like really lost.

when settling for the loan, my sis told me alot of stuffs.
it just hit the nail on my head.

is this really what i wanted?
i thought alot. alot.
this is going to be a choice that's gonna affect my career.

i should stop avoiding it.
i should do away with that childish mindset of mine.
i should start thinking, thoroughly.

and thanks haze for the advices. :)

2010-11-19T01:03:00.003+08:00

been a long time.
almost a month since i left the force.
haven't done anything productive.
yea. literally nothing.

got kinda used to not jotting down things going on in army.
lots of things happened these few months. too much for me to put into words.
perhaps.. to bystanders. it's just a trival matter. i dunno.
i believe the same thing weighs differently to everyone.

i even wondered if it's retribution.
but it has been months. i've grown numb of it.
things are not getting any better either.

wake up zigui.

2010-11-11T14:21:00.000+08:00

guys are jerks.

2010-11-04T23:17:00.002+08:00

i gotta change. starting from today.
i need to stop being so lazy.
helping my parents out.
start doing what i should.

i know karma will strike on me someday.
someday..

2010-10-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

the fun's over.
about time to get serious i guess.

2010-10-08T10:36:00.002+08:00

they always say we should be cautious of what we do and what we say.
people are looking and judging all the time. from the things we do and words we say.

but how long can we remain that way?
always worrying over what we do or say. so as not to cause inconvenience to others.

2010-10-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

the world is blind.

2010-09-23T19:23:00.001+08:00

做人要拿得起，放得下。
alot of us can take it up.
but how many of us can really let it go?

2010-09-23T00:51:00.003+08:00

yea i've changed.
so sick of the things that are taking place.

but whatever.
i already can't be bothered anymore.

2010-09-14T21:03:00.001+08:00

i've passed my driving. hurray.

2010-09-12T17:00:00.002+08:00

i've always believed what goes around comes around.

what im experiencing now, is probably karma.

or lessons for me to learn to grow sronger.

2010-09-12T02:11:00.001+08:00

sometimes don't you wish that the reality is just like shows and fairytales?
everything ended so nicely.
the world would be alot happier.

2010-09-02T19:21:00.000+08:00

i hate it when someone messes up my thing.
...

2010-08-28T03:27:00.002+08:00

what would you do if you accidentally developed feeling for someone you shouldn't, someone that you can never be with?

2010-08-27T18:42:00.001+08:00

sometimes i wonder. what happened to who i used to be.

2010-08-26T00:26:00.005+08:00

i don't wish to be just like anyone else.
i wish to be somebody.

since young everything has been drawn up nicely for me as im the youngest in the family.
i don't have much worry as im not the main pillar of the family.

but because of that, i don't wish to let them down.
i want to be someone who is dependable instead of someone who is always depending on others.
i want to be someone who is capable of supporting the family should there be anything.

seeing how hard my parents worked for us, for money, swallowing all their pride for money, and most importantly the kind of respect they've received from people. the kind of look people give them. even from my own family members.

i keep telling myself i don't want to be like them. having to fret over money all the time.

i can tell people how i feel, but i guess only i will know how much i wish to break off from this kind of life.

even though studying and getting a degree may not be the only way out, but i feel that getting the right one is the safest way to secure your placing in the competition. and it's going to be an expensive decision. a very expensive decision.

i want a breakthrough.
i need a goal.
a clear goal.

2010-08-23T23:57:00.001+08:00

off to bed. goodnight.

2010-08-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

once again, the future is interrogating me.

2010-08-12T23:35:00.001+08:00

nurse pokes the drip in.
"oops the thing fell off."
"!?"

2010-08-02T21:10:00.001+08:00

"I didn't fall, I attacked the floor."

LOL
HAHAHAHAHAH

2010-08-01T02:30:00.006+08:00

i went to meet shimin for dinner 2 days back.
old friend! haha.

we had a good long night chat.
i told her life is getting meaningless. i really feel that way.
then she told me im not the only 1 feeling this way. alot of people are feeling this way too.
to be honest i never really thought of that.
she said without knowing what we want in life, people just want to get the degree for the sake of getting. it's too monotonous.

it's quite true. but the truth is that without a degree, you can barely get anywhere in SG.

the question is.. where exactly are we getting? rich? or getting a degree just so that we can work for others?

so many years and efforts just for the sake of money?

my parents spent whole of their life working for money and fretting over it.
sad fact isn't it.

reality.. is a mere joke.

2010-07-29T20:47:00.002+08:00

i just don't get it at times.

2010-07-28T00:13:00.003+08:00

even though it's heart wrenching, even though it's not her fault. i can't help feeling this way.
afterall.. i started it.

right or wrong, regretful or not, it has already become a fact.
i have to live with it.

smile zigui. face it.
you have something alot more important for you to worry about.

2010-07-26T11:54:00.002+08:00

i admit i'm kinda attracted to you.
but stuffs like this is not a one-sided thing.
i won't let history repeat itself.
i must not be that selfish.

Nick周湯豪 - 罵醒我

2010-07-25T19:53:00.000+08:00

2010-07-21T19:05:00.001+08:00

still troubling over the courses to take for uni.
hmm.